Monday, September 1, 2008

Clicking My Heels...

Yesterday another wave hit; not from Faye or Gustav but from my heart. I found myself at a loss. Longing for the familiarity of my life in Indianapolis, the tears once again showed up. I wanted to be able to get in the car with Gavin and Anna and head to Irvington Friends for my weekly dose of fellowship with Friends and my Higher Power but instead watched as men in suits and women in dresses, all with Bibles in hand, walked into the Episcopal Church next door to our little house. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I just longed for the known intimacy of my friends and family and the spirituality that brings me comfort and peace. These two little words, comfort and peace, can come in so many ways. Who knew (certainly not me) that coffee with friends, meals shared with family, and the mutual grumblings about everyday life with those close to me are the trappings of comfort and peace. As Dorothy would say,"If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own backyard". Slowly we are creating a backyard here, fire ants and all. But each of us in our own little ways are clicking our heels and repeating the words, "There's no place like home...there's no place like home...there's no place like home", longing for the familiarity of our previous lives eight and half hours north of here. But that was then and this is now. Now is Clinton, South Carolina. If working a 12 step program has taught me anything it is that present moment living is the key to serenity. Our true home is the present moment. Thankfully, no 'heel clicking' is required; just a deep cleansing breath and surrendering to what is.
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1 comment:

EpisDil said...

Just saying/typing out loud what you already know: this is the garden God needs you to grow. You have things to grow here, don't ask me what they are, 'cause I ain't God and I don't pretend to be. But I know you have growin' to do there, and you need to be there, where you are, to do it. And I love you.